Resources for Military Spouses

Operation Safe Ground: A Safe Haven for British Military Wives

At Finally Free CIC, we know first-hand how invisible and unsupported military wives are when it comes to domestic abuse. We've seen the red tape, the silence, and the complicity. We've lived it. And we’ve had enough.

That’s why we’re launching Operation Safe Ground - the UK’s first dedicated shelter project specifically for military wives and partners fleeing domestic abuse.

This is not just a shelter - it’s a mission.
Built by survivors, for survivors.
Led by women who understand the unique challenges of military life – from isolation in overseas postings to systemic failures at home.

We are actively applying for government funding, charity support, and national grants to bring this project to life. But to show funders how urgent this need is, we need you.

📧 To be added to our waiting list and help demonstrate the scale of the crisis, please email:
👉 safeground@finallyfreecic.org

The more women we hear from, the stronger our case becomes. If you’re struggling, know this: you are not alone - and we are building something better.

Support & Guidance for Separating from an (Abusive) Military Spouse

If you’re thinking about leaving your military spouse – or already have – here is some honest advice based on lived experiences from current and former Army wives. This is what the system won’t tell you, but what you need to know.

Military Charities & What to Expect

⚠️ Note: Many military charities are not independent. Most follow the Ministry of Defence’s agenda and may side with your spouse’s chain of command.

Army Welfare Service (AWS)

MOD-run and rarely impartial. They offer emotional support, but not much more.

The Royal British Legion

Can help with:

  • Temporary housing

  • Extensions to stay in SFA

  • Food vouchers

  • Furniture and white goods

  • School placements

SSAFA

Similar to RBL but often slower to respond. Persistent follow-up is key.

⚠️ Avoid the Cotswold Centre if possible - especially if you're using your 93 days in SFA. It’s not ideal and may not suit every family.

Your Rights in Service Family Accommodation (SFA)

  • You’re entitled to 93 days in SFA once your spouse changes their PStat (from married to separated).

  • During this time, your spouse moves into the block, and you're entitled to stay in the marital home.

  • Apply for Universal Credit and Child Maintenance immediately upon separation.

⏱ It may take up to 3 months if your ex cooperates
🕰 Up to 6 months if they don’t

Ask your welfare officer for a letter confirming:

  • Your tenancy in SFA

  • Your rent amount

  • CILOCT (council tax)

This helps Universal Credit cover housing costs.

If you remain beyond 93 days, make sure:

  • Your ex completes their march-out on Day 93

  • They are responsible for all utilities and property costs until then

On Day 93:

  • Register gas and electric in your name

  • Take over council tax (CILOCT)

  • Get buildings insurance that complies with DIO rules (many civilian insurers won’t cover this - check carefully)

Financial Abuse in the Military

Sadly, financial abuse is common in military families - especially for stay-at-home mums with limited income.

If you’re being denied access to money, contact:

  • Your welfare officer

  • Your unit Padre

  • The charities mentioned above (with caution)

Overseas Allowance (LOA) Abuse

If you’ve been posted abroad, your partner receives LOA for you and your children. If they withhold that money, you’re likely facing financial abuse.

Things you should know:

  • Rent abroad can be as low as £0–£250, depending on rank and house

  • Water is free

  • Gas/electric is deducted as a flat rate

  • No council tax (CILOCT)

  • You’re meant to be supported - not controlled

If you're always "skint" despite these allowances, ask why.

Bullying, Harassment & Sexual Assault

Yes, it happens in the Army - more than they want to admit. The standard response?

“It happens in Civvy Street too”
“I’ve served 20+ years and never seen it”

But hundreds of women report:

  • Bullying

  • Clique culture

  • Assault

The MOD often protects the perpetrators. Survivors are left discredited, isolated, and unsupported.

What can you do?

  • Hire a military-knowledgeable solicitor (many offer no-win, no-fee)

  • Contact the Centre for Military Justice for free, impartial legal advice

Just know: they’re under-resourced and often overwhelmed. But they are on your side.

Don’t Be Afraid of Eviction Notices

Pinnacle or Amey might send you "official" eviction notices, but don’t panic. You can:

  • Stay for up to 12–24 months in many cases

  • Fight any illegal eviction with Legal Aid (yes, it covers housing)

Your final move as a separated spouse is covered by the military.

Final Note on the Cotswold Centre

If you’re sent there:

  • It’s temporary (6 weeks max)

  • It's often unsuitable, especially with children

  • But it might be your only bridge to something safer

This Is the Truth of Military Life

Leaving an abusive military marriage is hard. You’ll likely lose friends. You may feel silenced or gaslit. But you are not weak, you are not mad, and you are not alone.

Military life is sold as a fairy tale. For many of us, it’s a war zone of its own.

We're building something better.
And it starts with Operation Safe Ground.

📧 To join the waiting list or help us prove how urgently this shelter is needed, email:
👉 safeground@finallyfreecic.org

🧡 You are seen.
🛑 You are not to blame.
✊ You will rise again.

Let’s take back control - together.