The Truth About Marriage: Not a Fairy Tale, But a Full-Time Job You Didn’t Apply For

Let’s get straight to the point, shall we? Marriage, as it’s sold to us, is a con. A PR stunt. A white picket fence fantasy designed to make women believe that if they just find the right man, everything will fall into place. Spoiler alert: it won’t.

Now, before you start clutching your pearls and calling me a bitter old hag, let me explain. I’m not saying all marriages are miserable, but the version they sell us—the one where you find The One™, settle down, and live in domestic bliss while your doting husband naturally shares all the burdens of life—yeah, that’s about as real as a unicorn riding a rainbow into your kitchen and making you a cup of tea.

The Propaganda vs. The Reality

From childhood, we’re spoon-fed the idea that marriage is the ultimate goal. From Disney films to rom-coms, we’re conditioned to believe that love conquers all, that men are naturally protective and nurturing, and that one day, we’ll have a family where everything is perfectly balanced. The truth? That balance will be sitting squarely on your shoulders, love.

Because here’s what they don’t tell you:

• The “hands-on” husband who instinctively parents without needing a gold star or a detailed to-do list? He exists, but in numbers so small he might as well be Bigfoot.
• You will be the project manager of your household. Birthdays? You’re in charge. Holidays? You’re in charge. His parents’ presents? Wrapped by you. Mental load? Congratulations, you now have a second full-time job.
• The phrase “But you should have told me!” will be muttered after every single obvious responsibility he fails to do. Because, of course, it’s your job to instruct him to be a decent father and husband.
• Cooking, cleaning, and general life admin? Unless you set strict boundaries (and even then, good luck), it’ll be your burden to carry, even if you work the same hours as him.
• Date nights? Romantic weekends away? That’ll be on your list of things to plan too, because if you leave it up to him, you’ll be in Wetherspoons with a lukewarm pint.

"But My Husband Helps!"

A common defence I hear from married women is, “But my husband helps!” And this, my dear reader, is exactly the problem. Helps? As in, he occasionally contributes to the life you both built together? That’s not equality, that’s weaponised incompetence wrapped up in a participation trophy.

Men aren’t useless. They can hold down full-time jobs, run businesses, and remember their fantasy football line-ups with military precision. But when it comes to remembering to buy nappies or book a doctor’s appointment, suddenly, they develop amnesia. Convenient.

So, What Do We Do?

Stop lying to young women. Stop telling them that “it all evens out in the end.” Stop making them believe that their husbands will naturally step up. They won’t unless they’re taught to. And even then, they’ll be praised for doing the bare minimum.

If you’re thinking of getting married, go in eyes wide open. Don’t assume he’ll change. Don’t assume he’ll pull his weight. And most importantly, don’t trade in your independence for a lifetime of unpaid labour, wrapped in a bow called “wifey duties.”

Because trust me, the white picket fence? It’s not your dream—it’s his.