ADHD in Women: How It Affects Us All and How We Can Support Each Other

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) isn’t just a childhood condition, nor is it exclusive to men. For many women, ADHD can go undiagnosed for years, often manifesting in unique ways that are easily mistaken for something else. Unlike the classic, hyperactive stereotype, ADHD in women can look like chronic forgetfulness, hyper-focusing on tasks that spark interest, or simply feeling “different” but not knowing why. It’s a journey many women have travelled alone – until recently. Thanks to platforms like TikTok and the work of creators like Rich & Rox ADHD LOVE, more women are seeing their experiences reflected back at them, often for the first time, and are beginning to share their stories, support each other, and even embrace some unexpected “ADHD superpowers.”

For years, the way ADHD was understood left women out of the conversation. Typical symptoms associated with ADHD, like constant fidgeting or overt hyperactivity, don’t always show up in the same way for girls and women. Instead, women may experience inattentiveness, emotional sensitivity, or even what’s often dismissed as being “too chatty.” The reality is that ADHD in women often hides in plain sight – camouflaged by learned coping strategies or internalised as shame, anxiety, or even depression.

As Rich & Rox ADHD LOVE share with their TikTok followers, women with ADHD frequently go unnoticed because they’re so good at masking. They explain how society often pushes women to “hold it together,” to be the organised ones, the caretakers, the ones who remember everything for everyone else. For a woman with ADHD, trying to meet these expectations while managing her symptoms can feel overwhelming, exhausting, and isolating.

For many women with ADHD, living in a world built for neurotypicals presents daily challenges. Simple tasks – from remembering dates, paying bills on time, or even managing a to-do list – can feel like monumental hurdles. The struggle to adapt to a system that demands rigid routines and structures can lead to self-doubt, shame, and an endless cycle of “trying harder” without the desired results.

Rich & Rox often touch on the realities of this disconnect on their platform, adding a dose of humour to keep it real. They tackle the miscommunications that neurodivergent individuals face with neurotypical folks – from misunderstood social cues to struggles with forgetfulness.

As they explain, many neurotypical people might find it difficult to take responsibility or communicate directly, yet they judge those with ADHD for their challenges in these areas. Meanwhile, ADHD folks are often perceptive enough to spot dishonesty, disloyalty, or subtle changes in behaviour – skills they jokingly refer to as their “walking lie detector” abilities.

For all the struggles that come with ADHD, there’s a silver lining: those unique “superpowers” that women with ADHD often share. Rich & Rox are quick to point out that ADHD can be a bit of a double-edged sword. But once women learn to embrace these traits, they can unlock strengths that help them thrive:

1. Pattern Recognition: Women with ADHD often see connections that others miss, spotting patterns, linking ideas, and coming up with innovative solutions. This ability to think outside the box can be a gift in creative fields, problem-solving situations, or anywhere where fresh perspectives are valued.

2. Walking Lie Detectors: Many people with ADHD have an uncanny ability to sense dishonesty. This hyper-awareness of social cues, combined with a strong sense of empathy, means that they can often tell when someone’s being insincere. It's an asset in navigating complex social dynamics, though it can also be overwhelming at times.

3. Remarkable Memory (When It Counts): While the ADHD brain may not be the best at remembering where the keys are or when an appointment is, it has an incredible knack for recalling random bits of information or detailed memories tied to emotions or interests. It’s like a selective, sometimes genius-like memory – often leading to those unexpected moments of brilliance that surprise even them!

ADHD can be a lonely experience, especially when society doesn’t always understand or accept the different ways it manifests. That’s why building a supportive community is so essential. Platforms like TikTok have become safe spaces for women with ADHD to connect, share stories, and, most importantly, feel less alone. Creators like Rich & Rox remind us all that we don’t have to fit into a rigid neurotypical mould to be successful or happy.

Here are a few ways we can support one another:

- Share Resources: Whether it's recommending a helpful app, sharing a video that resonated, or even sending a reminder (we all know how much those help!), spreading resources can make a huge difference.

- Validate Each Other’s Experiences: Sometimes, just hearing someone else say, “I know exactly how that feels” is enough to feel seen. Validation and empathy go a long way, especially for those who’ve spent years trying to figure things out alone.

- Celebrate the Wins, Big or Small: For women with ADHD, what looks like a “small win” to someone else might have been a real battle. So whether it’s remembering an appointment or completing a project, celebrate these moments – they’re worth it!

- Encourage the Superpowers Instead of focusing on what women with ADHD can’t do, let’s focus on what they can do. From their creativity and empathy to their unique perspectives, there’s a lot to appreciate and celebrate.

In a world that doesn’t always understand or accommodate ADHD, platforms like TikTok and voices like Rich & Rox’s provide a lifeline. They remind us that there’s no shame in struggling, and they show us that ADHD, with all its quirks, can be a gift – one that comes with challenges, but also with strengths that make neurodivergent women a powerful force.

So here’s to embracing the “ADHD superpowers,” celebrating the victories, and building a community where no one feels left out. We may live in a neurotypical world, but together, we can make space for neurodiversity, where everyone can thrive just as they are.